Ahhh. The green hills of Bali. Soooo beautiful. But first to escape the city traffic. For wheels we have a teeny tiny Suzuki jeep of minimal brakes and many rattles. Its lack of power is seldom a problem. The traffic code is very relaxed. They often take the shortest route around traffic islands, sometimes not the one we would have chosen. The occasional traffic light is taken as a hint or suggestion. Have yet to see a right turn arrow at traffic lights, but, if intending to turn right, one maneuvers to one of the rightish lanes, and when the lights turn green, one must start moving, turning across and into the flow of oncoming traffic including weaving motor bikes. I know it all sounds suicidal, but somehow it seems to work if you just keep steadily moving into and through the target area. You imagine that I exaggerate? And this is controlled by traffic lights! Attitude to issues of navigation and Oc health and safety are also very relaxed

navigation by land, sea and chainsaw

Should any nervous new chum be seen to hesitate in the face of this bedlam, they would be taken to one side by a poor but happy policeman and shown a long list, in Indonesian, of infringements and penalties. Not a clue what the infringements are, but the penalties are all Rp 500,000, which is about $60. If one is moved to express generosity toward the poor but happy policeman, the outcome is usually more or less painless. The boat is a little oil-tanker owned by the State oil company Pertamina. It has been stranded on the reef off Bali’s popular Sanur beach since November 6, 2010. The captain and crew stayed on board for a few weeks, but one imagines them eventually splashing ashore to relax in the shade by the beach with a beer and a cigarette. Splendidly relaxed navigation. The falling palm tree was dropped by a team without protective gear – not even thongs. In fairness, they did pull on a rope to avoid concussion to the accompanying little Gamelan band, and deftly jumped clear at the last second.

So, a nervous/alert couple of hours on the busy main east coast road took us to the famous Taman Ujung water palace near Amlapura. The last king of Karangasem, who was very fond of water, built two vast watery weekend retreats. After constructing Ujung in 1919, it is said that he visited Versailles and was so impressed that he made a second bigger water palace, Tirta Gangga in 1947. Both were ravaged by geothermal malevolence of 1963, and again in 1979. There has been some rebuilding, as recently as 2004 but they are still impressive.

Then along the quiet rural coast track for an hour to Amed (vowels like amen). Sweetiepie noticed that the scenery was brill. I was focusing on negotiating the hazards of the track around the headlands, often forced down to first gear and slowing, with visions of being stuck forever in a trough between two impossible gradients. However, the spectacular views from the headlands, the towering volcano and the rows of boats on the little beaches of black sands were all worth the strain on the jeep. Amed beach is an unusually pretty place to have a salt works. Works sounds too industrial, it was more a place where salt is lovingly dried. Looks a bit like Murray river salt.

the salt works

Stayed a couple of days at Amed on the beach at a place called Hidden Paradise Cottages. High thatched roofs carved wooden doors, and luxury of luxuries, an outdoor bathroom. So you can multiple task – sunbathe while sitting on the loo! Much better to be lying in a shady spot by the pool reading a book, or eating in the open air dining room right on the beach.

Sidemen (vowels like cinnamon) is ear-poppingly high in the paddy fields. Picture book Bali scenery. Indeed it was the place where the European artists who colonized Ubud in the 30s used for a retreat when the partying got too much. Subak Tabola Inn is a great place to stay right in an amphitheater of paddies. The serene hilltop botanical gardens with organic veggies growing among the flowers are impeccably maintained. The architect-designed complex was built about 20 years ago. Now Swiss owned with great ambience for its use as a location for Yoga retreats. No need for fan or aircon at night just natural mountain ventilation. The natural forces of the jungle are progressively eroding the once grand buildings, including the huge covered verandahs with day beds looking over a lotus pond.

The town of Sidemen has a few places to stay and some Warung eating places, but it is not a loud tourist destination. Yet. Hardly any touristy gift shops, but there are a number ofserious weaving workshops in the town, proud of their passably good single Ikat weaving